


Glass Paradise

by Aryagraceling



Series: Wake the White Wolf [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alpha Hatake Kakashi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Nara Sera, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Everything Hurts, F/M, Heavy Angst, Kakashi tries his best, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Knotting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 01:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryagraceling/pseuds/Aryagraceling
Summary: “I don’t know how,” he continues. He breaks away to stroke himself a few times before biting his lip and shutting his eyes as he eases into her, his soft exhale the only sound to break the silence. “I want to help you.”“Are you going to fuck me or just tell me I’m broken?”





	Glass Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Set about three years before Wake the White Wolf begins, and about a month after Sera was found after Orochimaru left her for dead outside Konoha (approx. halfway through her relationship with Kakashi he checked in and found more feelings than appropriate...).
> 
> Really, just an opportunity for angsty smut and more Sera content.
> 
> Mood music [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRJBu5F88ew)

Everything crumbles. Trees crash to the ground, rivers dry in the sun, and even the Hokage Monument will erode into nothing before time has run its course. It may take forever, but it will still be less time than Kakashi spends training. Sera sits on the edge of the roof, feet pointed to the ground as Kakashi whirls around the backyard. He’s tossed the porcelain mask to the side and sweat is pouring down his face in the mid-summer heat. ANBU has formed him into a relentless force of nature, and it’s times like these she doesn’t mind being the one he uses to satisfy himself as much.

Her body aches every day now, since Orochimaru’s beating. Her fingers crack and back screams but at the end of it all, she’s stronger for it. The quietly nourished hatred for every person responsible for the way things are has been renewed, strengthened by the pain of being broken.

One day Konoha will know the same pain.

Shadows curl when Kakashi shuts his eyes for a split second, sending him crashing to the ground when she pulls. He thinks it’s all in good fun, if the shake of his head and crinkling mask is anything to go by. All fun. All good, as if neither wake in the night with nightmares of what has been and what could be.

“Are you going to come down here and join me?” he asks, beckoning her as the shadows recede. “The doctor said you’re okay to begin training again.”

“I’ll stay here.” She draws her legs to her chest and rests her chin on her knees as he begins again, picking up his blades and cutting through invisible foes. There’s no need to risk her body just yet.  _ Besides,  _ she thinks,  _ it’s a pretty picture, even of a captor. _

It’s not until the setting sun paints Kakashi’s skin in pink and gold that he stops. His mask has slipped down to his chin, soaked through like the rest of his clothes. It’s a bit ridiculous, how much time he spends becoming the village’s perfect weapon. Mate-killer Kakashi, son of the White Fang of the Leaf. 

How _ pitiful. _

They don’t see what she does. He’s still a scared child, shaking in her arms when he comes home from missions he won’t speak about. They don’t see the way he can’t even meet people’s eyes in the street for fear of rejection. Absolutely pathetic for a shinobi of his status. Where once there was a desire to stand by him, turn him toward the right path, there remains only graceless acceptance of mediocrity. 

Kakashi is no better than Orochimaru, and he’ll fall along with the rest of them. 

The jump to the ground jars her and she nearly sends Kakashi to the grass as she falls forward. Strong arms encircle her shoulders and she relaxes into him with a soft sigh, playing the ever-dutiful blushing beta being saved by attentive alpha. “Thank you,” she mumbles into his chest. “What would I ever do without you?”

“I don’t want to think about it,” he says softly. “Though I imagine things would be a lot different.”

“They would.”

He turns her around in his arms and helps her up the stairs, leaving for several seconds to pick up the various weaponry scattered over the yard. She doesn’t wait for him before walking in and settling on the couch that’s seen so many nights of her picking up what’s left of Konoha’s favored son. There’s a little less every time, and she looks forward to the day where there’s nothing left at all.

Perhaps then he’d be a better partner.

Today, as he does every day he’s home, he showers quickly and begins on supper. Sera’s never minded because it’s another thing he’s willing to do for her. Put enough pressure on the right points and he crumples under the iron force of her will. She just needs to figure out the right crack in his armor to bend him to the side of justice. 

She’d loved him once. The anxiety had been something to soothe instead of revile. She’d longed for the times he took off his mask instead of wishing he’d hide the smile that meant  _ happiness.  _ It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to be happy, no--she wanted him to be  _ hers.  _ So completely, utterly obsessed that she could crush the heart beating for Konoha and replace it with the bitterness of a scorned beta. 

Dinner goes down easily, and Kakashi cleans before laying her against him on the couch with a movie neither cares about on in the background. “I miss you training with me,” he says. “When are you coming back?”

“I nearly died, Kakashi,” she says. “These things take time.”

“I’ve almost died too,” Kakashi says. He pulls her tighter and buries his face in her neck, inhaling deeply against her scent glands before gently nipping her earlobe. “Can you at least sleep with me? It’s been a long time for that, too, and rut’s not exactly...known for being the best sex.”

Sera shivers as his hand slips just below the hem of his shirt. She doesn’t want to. He’s good--she made damn sure of that--but he’s not what she wants tonight, and she nearly shoves him away before his all-but-whimpered ‘please’ pins her. 

Maybe one small concession wouldn’t hurt.

“Get me wet first,” she sighs as he plays with the button on her pants. “You know how I like it.”

A concession, yes, but on her terms.

“Thank you,” he whispers, drawing her hair away from the back of her neck to press a series of kisses down her nape. “I kept wanting to bring it up but I didn’t want to hurt you more, you know? But I thought maybe if you were cleared for training…”

“Yes, Kakashi, I’m fine,” she says. “I’ve just been tired.” 

“You know I love you, right?” he says, craning his neck around to meet her eyes.

She forces a smile onto her face as he undoes her zipper. “I know you do,” she agrees. Maybe some day she’ll be able to fake an ‘I love you too’ again, but for now she settles for what puts a smile on Kakashi’s face. For now, that’s the slight reassurance and a kiss to his cheek. “I’d rather do it on the bed, though. Softer on my joints.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I should’ve known.” Kakashi stops everything and shuffles out from behind her, offering an arm for her to take as he rises. He’s got that  _ stupid  _ cowed look in his eyes again, and she wants nothing more than to make him wither below a wayward gaze the way she knows she can. “Come on, Sera.”

“Yes, alpha,” she all but purrs around the lump in her throat. “How would you like me?” His fingers slide from hers as he backs onto the bed, settling with a soft sigh as she stands between his legs. She knows this too, that he’ll ask her to bare herself to him. She can get him to  _ worship  _ her, but cannot figure out how to transform worship into partnership against the forces of oppression. 

He surprises her this time. “Can you just hug me for a few minutes? You don’t hold me anymore.”

It’s enough shock that she wraps around him automatically. He lifts her and lays her out next to him, both barely resting on the pillow as they look at one another. There’s a small crease between his brows that’s been ingrained since she met him, since he cut through Rin and became the pariah she’s grown to reluctantly accept, and she presses her finger to it to smooth it out. She can feel the want in every inch of his body, in every quiet breath that washes over her skin. 

She feels it and yet...nothing. She feels nothing but the warmth of his body against hers and the way his fingers skirt over a freshly scarred hip. She feels nothing as he rocks into the bed, nothing at the way the air between them reverberates with a low groan as he waits his turn.

There’s nothing but an empty ache where once there was something like adoration. 

He burrows closer and kisses her pulse. “I’ll never forgive him for taking you away from me,” he whispers. “Maybe you forgot what it feels like to love me. Or be loved. I love you.”

_ I know,  _ she wants to say again, but instead she presses her lips to his. She still can’t manage an ‘I love you,’ and she can think of nothing but how she’s failing her mission. Kakashi gasps softly, lips opening slightly before he takes her bottom lip between his teeth and worries it. “I…”

“Please, Sera,” he whispers. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” she says as her eyes slip shut. She can’t look at him while she lies, because he’ll know. “Very much, Kakashi.”

“I don’t want anyone else,” he says, shaking his head before pushing her gently back to the mattress. “Just you. I just want you.”

“So take me,” she says. There’s no need for hysterics or sweeping declarations of forever tonight. She doesn’t need it, doesn’t  _ want  _ it. If she’s going to be fucked, then let him do it without the extras. “You know you want to.”

He wastes very little time in stripping her down to nothing but her underwear, fingers curling under the fabric to delve between her folds as he takes a nipple into his mouth.  _ This  _ isn’t so bad. Kakashi can take her apart bit by bit and if she lets him, he can wring orgasm after orgasm from her.

Tonight is not the night to be greedy.

Tonight is the night to take what he wants to give, allow him access to what he wants most. With each pass of his tongue over her pebbled skin, the slide of his fingers in her eases. Wetness soaks through the fabric and she lets herself sink into the sheets as pleasure begins to course through her. 

It’s a night to drag him down and claim him once more.

Her nails dig into his shoulders as he cups her breasts with both hands, planting open-mouthed kisses down her stomach before sliding her underwear off with a low groan.  _ Every damn time.  _ Tongue meets tender flesh with the utmost care, and Sera’s thighs fall to the side before Kakashi draws them close. “‘M gonna show you,” he says between lungfuls of her scent. “You’ll see. You’ll remember.”

It’s not as if she’s forgotten.

How could she, under hands of fucking gold? 

Kakashi slips two fingers back in and all but suckles on her clit, the gentle friction and rocking of his hand driving a breathless gasp from the bottom of her lungs.  _ “Kakashi…” _

“You--” he leaves her trembling, just on the cusp as his lips drag up the lines of her body to move against hers once more-- “came back, but you...didn’t,” he whispers into her neck. “You look like me, and I’ve never been able to fix that.” 

She’s always been the one making him whole again.

“I don’t know how,” he continues. He breaks away to stroke himself a few times before biting his lip and shutting his eyes as he eases into her, his soft exhale the only sound to break the silence. “I want to  _ help _ you.”

“Are you going to fuck me or just tell me I’m broken?”

“You’re not broken, you’re...just a little down,” he says, and the way he looks down like she’s a hurt pack member sends ice careening through her veins. He backpedals at the shift in her energy. “You’re beautiful? Nice, ah...good, ki--”

“Just--” Sera pinches the bridge of her nose before cupping Kakashi’s cheeks and drawing their foreheads together. “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s done. Finish what you started, baby.”

Kakashi seems about to argue before she digs her heels into the small of his back and crushes him forward, sheathing him completely as he cries out. His neck falls prey to the soft bites that envelop them in his scent and drive him back to hers, and he sinks his teeth into the pale flesh just below her ear with a groan. 

She’s almost slicker than an omega now, body ready to receive every inch of a cock she should no longer want. The thought of him knotting her--even the sad, near half-knot between ruts-- makes her stomach turn. Claimed by an alpha she’s got no business being claimed by.

She’s  _ no one’s.  _

There’s a question in his eyes when she looks at him, and she doesn’t give him the chance to ask it as his base begins to swell. He’s elated when she pushes him away, but less so when she runs a hand over herself and begins to work it over him. She knows exactly what he wants.

_ “Let me come in your mouth, Sera, please?” _

He’s asked more than once and been denied each time. It’s  _ disgusting.  _ For lesser betas who don’t know their worth other than being a damned hole. 

“Come for me, alpha,” she whispers. “Come  _ on  _ me.”

It’s better than feeling fluid rush out of her.

Time and time again his cock pulses, painting her the pearlescent white of captivity. She waits until he’s done and trembling before looking pointedly between her legs. “Yeah,” he says, nodding eagerly as he folds himself down. “Yeah, yeah--”

Always the same fucking babbling before he gets his lips on her again. He should be grateful he’s even allowed to touch her, let alone be so inconsiderate that he comes first. He knows better. She  _ taught him _ better, and she comes to the poisonous hiss of Orochimaru’s voice in her mind telling her she’s worth so much more than being a come-drenched body. 

_ Better than the shithole they call a village and better than the bats they call wise enough to make choices for you.  _

Kakashi gets up and leaves, much to her relief. Water runs and she lays there with nose curled until he carries a warm cloth in to wipe away his release. 

_ Better than Kakashi. _

She tries not to cringe as he tucks her against him when he’s finished. The memory of Orochimaru’s arms tucking her the same way before tearing her apart makes her eyes sting, pillow absorbing silent tears when Kakashi so lovingly nuzzles into her neck.

_ Better than a hole, better than-- _

The list goes on and on as Kakashi mimics the way she comforts him, carding his hands through her hair and humming softly in the evening quiet between the occasional squeeze. Tears dry and Kakashi falls asleep and she’s left awake with thoughts of  _ better  _ that all seem to end in Konoha’s end and four words.

_ Better than a beta. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments always read and _very_ much appreciated, and I always do my best to get back to them ❤️
> 
> You can also find me lurking and yelling about fictional characters on:  
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/aryagraceling)  
> [Discord](https://discord.gg/cM8FaND)  
> [Tumblr](https://aryagraceling.tumblr.com)  
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